When Words Aren’t There Yet
May 2026
May is Mental Health Awareness Month, a time when we often hear messages encouraging us to speak up or reach out. While opening up can be an important part of feeling better, there is a reality we don’t talk about enough; sometimes, our feelings simply don’t have words yet.
Many of us have had those Bridget Jones moments, curled up on the sofa with a tub of ice cream, the familiar chatter of the television in the background, feeling low, overwhelmed, or lost in a box set. You might notice a heaviness in your chest, a sense of brain fog, or a general feeling of being emotionally flooded. In these moments, trying to explain why you feel this way can actually add more pressure. This response is not a failure; it reflects how the brain works. Research by Bessel van der Kolk suggests that under stress, the brain shifts away from language centres and focuses more on physical sensations as it moves into survival mode. In these states, the mind isn’t broken; it is simply processing things differently.
If talking isn’t the only way to heal, what else can help?
Many clients have shared how helpful they’ve found the approaches we explore together in sessions. These are grounded in research and clinical practice, and I often see how supportive they can be when it is difficult to rely on words alone. Sometimes, wellbeing begins not with expression, but with small, grounding shifts that help the nervous system settle first.
Below are four suggestions that many clients have found helpful to remind themselves when life is all so busy.
Sleep and Rest
As obvious as this may sound, sleep isn’t just rest. It is how the brain processes and organises the day, helping us make sense of our experiences.
June Pilcher and Allen Huffcutt have found that even small amounts of sleep loss can significantly affect mood, often more so than physical energy. When we are sleep deprived, the brain’s emotional centre, the amygdala, becomes more reactive. Work by Matthew Walker highlights how essential sleep is for emotional regulation and overall wellbeing.
Many people notice that when their sleep improves, even slightly, things begin to feel more manageable. When you are exhausted, even simple tasks can feel overwhelming and take longer than usual, which can create a frustrating cycle. Making space for rest can be one of the kindest and most supportive things you can offer yourself. Unlike a computer, we don’t simply shut down and reset. We need time to process the day, file away what matters, and let go of what no longer needs to be carried.
Creativity and Flow
You don’t need to be an artist like Constable or Lowry for creativity to be meaningful or helpful. Research by Girija Kaimal found that just 45 minutes of creative activity can significantly reduce cortisol, the body’s primary stress hormone. This might include doodling, cooking, gardening or any activity that allows your attention to gently shift. Some clients describe creativity as one of the few times their mind feels quieter, even briefly. These moments can support a sense of flow, where thinking softens and the mind gets a break from overthinking.
Creativity here isn’t about outcome or skill, but about giving your mind somewhere else to rest.
Nature and Regulation
Spending time in nature can be a powerful way to reset.
Psychologist Stephen Kaplan’s Attention Restoration Theory suggests that natural environments help the brain recover from mental fatigue. Even a short time in a green space can support the nervous system in settling and reduce cognitive strain.
For many people, being outdoors without pressure or expectation creates a sense of space that can be difficult to find elsewhere. Nature doesn’t ask anything of us, and that in itself can feel regulating. Even small connections with nature, such as caring for house plants or simply looking at images of natural landscapes, can have a calming effect on the nervous system and offer a moment of gentle restoration.
Holding Difficult Feelings
This might sound a little strange, but stay with me here.
Steven Hayes, who developed Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, suggests that we don’t always need to fix or eliminate difficult feelings in order to move forward. Sometimes, the most helpful response is to notice what is present and respond to yourself with care. This is something we often explore in sessions, particularly when words feel out of reach. Learning to stay with a feeling, rather than immediately trying to change it, can create a different kind of steadiness. This approach, known as psychological flexibility, helps us stay grounded even when clarity hasn’t yet arrived.
A Gentle Reminder This May
Mental health awareness is often framed as finding your voice, but it can also be about recognising the quieter ways you care for yourself. Going to bed a little earlier, sitting in the park or allowing yourself patience when the words don’t come are not small things; they are meaningful steps towards wellbeing and often the same small shifts that people find make a real difference over time. We are all works in progress, and growth doesn’t always need to be spoken to be real.
Thank you, as always, for taking the time to read this month’s post. Your emails, comments and messages are always appreciated. I hope May brings moments of calm, reflection and even a little lightness, and that over time, even difficult moments can offer space for understanding, Seetal seetal@hummingbirdsandmarigoldstherapy.com
PS. Please share this article with someone who might benefit from reading it.
References
Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D. and Wilson, K. G. (2011) Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: The Process and Practice of Mindful Change. 2nd edn. New York: Guilford Press.
Kaplan, S. (1995) ‘The restorative benefits of nature: Toward an integrative framework’, Journal of Environmental Psychology, 15(3), pp. 169–182. – you will need to ask for access, but the link shows the abstract to get you started.
Pilcher, J. J. and Huffcutt, A. I. (1996) ‘Effects of sleep deprivation on performance: A meta-analysis’, Sleep, 19(4), pp. 318–326. – you will need to ask for access, but the link shows the abstract to get you started.
van der Kolk, B. (2014) The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. London: Penguin Books. – you can also access snippets of the book online – it’s also one of my recommended reads.
Walker, M. (2017) Why We Sleep: The New Science of Sleep and Dreams. London: Allen Lane.
